Burning pain
by kai-inspire
Summary: Hey people, I'm back Unlike my other stories, this one isn't konosetsu, gomen to konosetsu fans. Anyway, Disclaimer: I don't own negima, Akamatsu ken-sensei does, so if you want to read and review. Setsu X OC Angsty *May have konosetsu sequel
1. Chapter 1

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**Hey guys, yeah i know i haven't been on for a really long time and all of you probably wanna kill me. So sorry, reality hits, really hard at that and personal life has very well been shit for me. I've just graduate like 6 months back and now officially became 13, so thanks for supporting me all this while ^^ (even if you wanna kill me).**

**Anyways, disregarding all that crap above, this story isn't a good one, i just made it up when i was upset earlier this year. So, if you don't like angst, don't read.**

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'_No, no...not again…please…'_ I begged to no one in particular but still tried as this _pain_, this_ hurt_ anguished me more than any and/or every wound or fracture i had ever experienced before. I gripped my shirt as I gritted my teeth to stop myself from wanting to yell in pain and grief.

This very pain felt like an endless wave of swords stabbing right through my heart over and over again for all it was worth. '_This pain _was caused by _her' _I remembered that I had used that exact phrase before, but with different feelings. 'Now, _now _it was thought with anger' I glared at the ground before me.

'Calm down,' I told myself, 'It _will _end today'

I got up from my spot and left for my dormroom while chuckling silently and sadistically to myself at what was to come.

_'I had it planned all perfectly...'_

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I am like a bomb,

once you light my fuse,

either you destroy me,

stop the fire,

or I'll make your world like mine,

where I destroy you,

where everything you have worked for comes crashing down.

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I strolled down the steps from the roof where I had just been, thinking back about all the times we had played up there, chasing each other up and down the stairs, remembering the laughter, eating bentou with you and everything else.

You were the one to pull me out of the darkness, out of my shell where I trusted no one. In short, you made me happy for once in my life.

So why? Why are you the one shoving me back into it? Why are you destroying everything? I can't understand, I can't comprehend, so I'll end the confusion.

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**There you have the first part.^^ Yes, its bloody short and I owe all of you more updates, so I will try to update constantly and not dissapear again. Arigatou Gozaimasu *bows**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo, people. ^^ Thanks for all the reviews, Dana Kishimoto, Personheretolookatstories and Bara-no-Shikyo. I owe you guys. ^^**

******Ah, feels like only yesterday did I upload something~ Yeah right, no way in hell. Okay, no more crap. New chapter starts now.**

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_The corridors,_ here, many students including me had walked through in order to get to our respective classes. It was empty now since most of them had probably gone back to their dorms.

Many memories replayed through my mind as I sauntered silently past the many old, and yet still standing pillars of this familiar place. Staring to my left, I stared blankly at the courtyard where we had gone to for quite some outdoor classes. It hit me again, just for a moment. Your laughter, which had brought so much joy to me, now only displayed of your contempt of me. It was laughably and totally wrong of what I had expected after I met you.

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_This is enough! There are 1001 places in this place I could think about, no time for that her club meeting is ending in about an hour, I should hurry._ I did say she was going to pay anyway. I quickened my steps towards the dormrooms at Block C of the hostel. Her current location was about someway south-west of it, so it would take my about 10-15 mins to walk there. So, possibly I had time...

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'Eh~ Setsuuuuuu~~ Come on, we eat at the roof everyday anyway. Lets go to the courtyard for once pleasssssseeee?' _Pout, puppy dog face, The ultimute kill-me attack was fired._ I remember I shuddered then, it was seriously too cute.

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I obliged again and again and again many, many times over for such requests. But I hate myself for falling right into those traps, those that had led me straight to my downfall. That just one kiss request _you_ made, threw me practically into the darkest abyss of my life.

You knew of my dark past of how I had been abused and treated like trash my whole life including my previous classmates who would hurt me by tearing up or throwing out my things which I would have to _pay for_ when I got home.

This school was my ticket out of that hellhole, a boarding school. And now?

Its found me hasn't it? My destiny.

It wants to_ kill _me. It wants me dead.

So I'll give it what it wants.

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Sliding the key swiftly into the lock, I opened it with a slight _click. _Good as expected, no one was around and with that I entered the storage room (_I didn't say I was in my dorm yet) _where I kept two little _somethings_ I found just a week ago which would help me greatly with my plan.

_Two taurus 1911 pistols. Thanks, Tatsumiya Mana-san_

I can't remember how many times I played this scene in my head before, I held one pistol to my own forehead. Feeling cold steel against my skin, I wondered whether this was the last thing people felt when they died at gunpoint.

I shut my eyes and whispered one, near inaudible word:

_Bang._

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**That's all for now folks. Thanks for taking your time to read this and please review. Sayonara until the next chapter. ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey peeps! Looooong time no see eh? (: Still angsty here but I vow to finish this story even if it kills me. So, sit tight and I'll try to prolong this chappy ^^**

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_Sigh_

I wish. _Hehehe. _It will be over soon. Still on my face, that empty smile stayed etched on.

_I want to pull the trigger so much. No. Almost but not yet. Misaki has to go first. _I felt my lips curve back into my usual, hating scowl. I removed the gun from my forehead and whole life just started to agonisingly crawl back out from the deep abyss of my memories.

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**_Flashback_**

Being abused, by someone older and so much stronger. I always told myself '_when I'm older, I'll be stronger' _Listening to 'Simple Plan' songs like _one day, shut up and don't wanna think about you,_ fueling myself with false hope that everything would be okay sooner or later. Back then, I hoped and i hoped, seriously how stupid was I? As I grew up, my parents always favoured my brother over me. Moving to a new place, transferring everywhere just to suit him. I always have been the _new kid_. Thrown around, being pushed and shoved everywhere by my peers as well as having my stuff and stationary being trashed, torn up and just tossed into the garbage or out the window in my face.

_Of course, being homosexual didn't do a thing for my reputation_. I smirked sadly_. Thanks. Thank you so much, Misaki_.

My stuff and books disappearing so much and in such a state would trigger even more beatings, naggings which eventually led to me fighting back and more physical damages. As it continued, even going home just sucked and just basically got me sent to a boarding school, which _was _exactly what everyone wanted. _Me, out._

As a student, from elementary school up till now, I've always given people bad vibes. I had a bad start and became increasingly paranoid to whom was around me. Thinking I was glaring at them, anti-social just because I was quiet and wary of who I talked to and trusted which did result in getting pushed around and having people spreading random rumours about me. Also because of my androgynous looks, I was constantly called a _dyke _or even _vagitarian _in worse cases_._

Thinking back now, they did turn out right. Didn't they, _Misaki?_

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_Elementry school (The beginning)_

I was a small, bright-eyed kid wearing at least a small grin at most times as seen through my old photos and never made me fail to think, _how? how did an innocent child like that turn...well, turn into me? _

It was going to be my first day of school. Excited as I was, I could not seem too eager to get out of the house, to get away from them, as it would just trigger scoldings going along the lines of '_You just wanna leave the house, right? Well, why don't you just move out? Huh, can't wait for it, can't you? brat.' _then probably followed by a shove that usually ended with me crashing to the ground, scraping my knees or my face, or a crush against the wall by a swift whack. And more to come after I get back where my brother would insult and mock me like I was the lowest scum on earth, or worse. Oh joy. But even the thought of this couldn't bring down the prospect of being able to leave the house practically everyday.

Oh, how very extremely wrong I had been.

As the big yellow bus of all my hopes pulled up, I could barely stand the happiness and just rushed towards it, sprinting as fast as I could past my older brother and up the bus as my small legs could carry me. In the safety of the bus, I felt a sudden pressure and just slowed my pace to a walk, whereby another child just kicked out his leg and sucessfully tripped me. I landed with a huge _thunk, _bruising both my knees and grazed my chin.

The whole bus just practically exploded into laughter, as much pain I was in, the humiliation and embarassment was nearly to much to bear and I just threw my bag down at the nearest seat and stayed there.

That day could possibly have been the worst day of my life, having to be humiliated in front of a new crowd, having my lunch box emptied in my face with nothing left to eat and no money to buy food with and having to stand outside of the house for being too enthusiatic about leaving the house that morning. Not to mention the many insults I had to deal with from the others as well as having them throw my lunch box out the window, where I knew, even at that age, my happiness had headed too.

As my luck would have it, that school had an escalator system and the kids that played in your sandbox or were in your playgroup when you were younger, were probably the ones going to stick with you until graduation which was 15 years later on.

One of the many unwritten rules of school life: Once the bullied kid, always the bullied kid.

From that point on I understood it: keep your ground, lie low unless you are a popular dude or bitch and stay alert and wary of people that you interact with. Most importantly, **never trust anyone.**

Of course, over the years I kept to those rules, never stepping over the line. So, I was still left out, pushed around but never forced to the point of breaking the thread I was hanging on to.

And of course, we come around a full circle right back to my dear little _Misaki-chan,_ the breaking point of my_ life_.

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_Snap. _

It was as easy as that.

My world crashed. Lays completely shattered now.

So, yours will too.

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**Whew! I'm tired. Its quite long I suppose ^^ Haven't posted in months but thanks for your support, I will post more frequently from now on. So, do review! :D And thanks to those who reviewed last time. **


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